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Top tips for looking after your mental health at Christmas

December 17, 2024 actionmentalhealth

While Christmas is traditionally associated with merriment and good cheer – a time for getting together with friends and family for celebration – many people struggle with their mental health at this time of year, for a variety of reasons.

Whether it’s loneliness due to the prospect of facing Christmas alone, financial stress, depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), these are just some of the reasons why our mental health can suffer during the holidays. However, it’s important to understand that, if you or someone you know is struggling at Christmas, you’re not alone – and there are things that can help you cope and make things more manageable.

Managing stress and anxiety at Christmas

According to research from YouGov (2019), more than two-in-five people feel stressed during December, with anxiety affecting three-in-ten. Meanwhile, a quarter of people said they had felt depressed over Christmas, while just under a quarter felt lonely during the festive period.

“Feeling low around Christmas is especially common among people who are unemployed (38%), divorced (35%) or widowed (31%). It’s less so, but not unusual, for parents with kids living at home (23%).” (YouGov, 2019).

In addition to this, people aged between 25-34 years old are more likely to experience anxiety and loneliness (31%-40%), with women being more prone to mental health issues in general at Christmas time (51%).

If you already experience anxiety, then the busyness of the festive season can heighten this even more, what with events, visiting friends and family, buying gifts and the general intensity of the season. Increased traffic, people, lights and noise when you’re out and about can also trigger anxiety and led to overwhelm. It can therefore be helpful to bear the following points in mind, if you feel yourself getting anxious or, indeed, want to minimise anxiety at this time of year:

Plan ahead: If you’re going Christmas shopping, choose quieter times like early in the morning or later at night – and pick a location you know is going to be less busy. Alternatively, avoid the crowds altogether and shop online – you can still support local businesses this way and prevent the risk of getting overwhelmed in busy shops.

Know the signs: If you suffer from anxiety on a regular basis then you’ll be aware of what triggers this and the symptoms that present, but some people may only experience anxiety at certain times like Christmas, when life is particularly hectic. Signs of anxiety can include feeling faint, dizzy, disoriented or struggling to catch your breath, as well as having an increased heart rate (racing heart), feeling paranoid, fearful, tense or excessively worried. When anxiety hits, you can try to ground yourself by focusing on the present moment and noticing what’s around you – name five things you can see, hear or taste, for example. Taking deep breaths – extending your exhalation so that it’s longer than your inward breath – will also help to calm your nervous system. Removing yourself (when you feel able to do so) from the environment e.g. leaving the shop to get fresh air or even just sitting down if you feel faint, can all help to manage your anxiety in the moment as well.

Set realistic expectations: Christmas can invite comparison with other people as we see images on social media of what others are getting up to, or from what we see around us in the day-to-day. However, it’s worth remembering that we never see the full picture with anyone and comparing your Christmas to someone else’s runs the risk of making you feel anxious, if you feel that you aren’t meeting self-imposed or so-called social standards. Being realistic about everything from family gatherings to present-buying and festive activities will help to reduce anxiety and take the pressure off.

Practice self-care: Remembering to take time out for yourself – stepping away from the hustle and bustle and prioritising rest and relaxation – will help to manage anxiety. Say ‘no’ to things that might overwhelm you and limit what you do over the festive season. While you may not be able to avoid the busyness of the holidays completely, you can do what you can to minimise the triggers of anxiety. Eating well and not overindulging too much, talking to someone you trust and sticking to as much of your normal routine as possible can also help.

Sarah Grant-Jones, Head of Clinical Services within Action Mental Health’s counselling service, said it was important to manage expectations over Christmas.

“Family holidays can be wonderful but very intense,” she said. “People can feel the pressure to have the perfect Christmas – but there’s no such thing. The work we do with our clients is to help them manage their expectations around Christmas. It might not be quite how they expect it to be, so it’s about how to manage that if it’s not.

“I think it’s really about knowing yourself and being aware of what works for you. There’s going to be lots of thoughts and feelings that come up around Christmas-time. It’s a very emotive time – and can be like this for lots of different reasons, for example, if someone has experienced a bereavement at this time of year. You have to be aware of that and work with it personally or within your family. Be aware that you may experience lots of different thoughts and feelings over the Christmas period – and prepare for that.”

Anxiety can be one of the main symptoms of stress, along with feelings of overwhelm and finding it difficult to make decisions. Being restless and having a constant sense of dread or underlying worry can also be symptomatic of stress, so it’s important to be aware of these signs and to look out for yourself over Christmas.

Stress can particularly affect women over the festive season: “Christmas is especially tough on women’s mental health. While women are only 4% more likely to say Christmas affects them negatively, the difference is more glaring when it comes to stress and anxiety. While … 35% of men have felt stressed around Christmas, for women the figure is 51%. Over a third of women also say they’ve felt anxious, whereas less than a quarter of men say the same.” (YouGov, 2019).

Doing what you can to minimise stress – for example, setting spending goals for gifts, asking people for help with dinner preparations, taking time out for yourself and avoiding comparison with others – can all help to reduce stress.

“If you experience anxiety or low mood, then it’s about being aware of what triggers that – and the pressure points for you,” said Sarah. “Give yourself time for how you’re going to cope with things. For example, with social anxiety – how would you feel about attending that party or big family event? It’s about thinking through what potentially may be an issue for you and knowing that, whatever you’re thinking, is ok. Give yourself permission to feel that.”

Depression at Christmas

If you have depression, then Christmas can be a difficult time to navigate, particularly when everyone around you appears to be happy and the season sets an expectation for this. It can also be hard trying to explain to others that you feel low, even at Christmas, if they don’t understand the symptoms of depression or how it affects you.

Struggling with feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness, anxiety, intense sadness and low energy can all be symptoms of depression, along with fluctuations in appetite. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can also strike at this time of year – either on top of pre-existing depression or as a standalone form of depression that some people only experience in winter. SAD – also sometimes referred to as the ‘winter blues’ – is low mood caused primarily during December, January and February due to reduced exposure to sunlight during the darker days of winter.

To help you or someone you know cope with depression over Christmas, here are a few tips on what may help:

Talk to someone: Discussing how you feel with someone you trust will help share the burden and make you feel less alone. If you isolate yourself then you can become stuck in your thoughts, which can create a vicious cycle of low mood. Talking to a friend or family member, however, can help prevent a downward thought spiral and ground you in the present moment. Explaining how you feel can also help you set boundaries with other people at Christmas and help them understand how they can support you.

Stay in touch with people but know when to say ‘no’: Isolating yourself can contribute to low mood, especially if you already experience depression, so it’s important not to cut yourself off from people completely over Christmas. If possible, maintain contact with trusted friends and/or family but avoid overwhelm by choosing when you socialise i.e. you don’t have to accept every invitation you receive – be selective. Setting boundaries will safeguard your mental health while also helping you stay connected, so your low mood doesn’t spiral, as being with other people grounds us and makes us feel less alone.

Be active: Keeping active helps to boost our mental wellbeing, so sticking to routines like going for a daily walk and just getting outside is important, especially at Christmas when schedules change with the holidays.

Know your limits: If you’re struggling with depression of any kind, then this is something you will also need to manage throughout Christmas. Recognising this and removing any pressure to ‘feel better’ over the festive season is important. Know what you can manage and how to handle the holidays in the best way for you. Placing unnecessary pressure on yourself to ‘do Christmas’ like those who don’t have depression is unfair on yourself and sets unrealistic expectations.

“It’s about acknowledging what’s going on for you and validating that; knowing, ‘what will help me to lift my mood?’” said Sarah.

“It’s good to have a repertoire of coping strategies to hand, or kept on your phone. For example, maybe time-out helps you cope. And – be kind to yourself. Allow yourself the opportunity to not do more than you feel you want do or are able to do. It’s ok not to be ok – and if you don’t feel ok, reach out.”

Alleviating loneliness during the festive season

Christmas festivities can exacerbate feelings of loneliness during the holidays, especially if you’re spending it alone, are divorced, separated, single or have recently been bereaved. Feeling like everyone else is having a great time together can also make you feel even more alone, even if perceptions based on what you see online or on the street aren’t always accurate.

Loneliness can co-exist alongside various mental health issues and can become a more serious problem itself, if left unaddressed. That’s why, if you or someone you know is experiencing loneliness – or anticipate it over Christmas – there are things which can help to alleviate it.

Connect with people: Whether it’s volunteering at your local animal shelter, visiting a friend or going out for a walk and just saying hello to people, find ways to avoid isolation. Spending time with people boosts our wellbeing and helps us feel less alone, while having a conversation with someone about anything at all can lift our mood and ground us in the present moment.

Structure your days: If you’re lonely and are also coping with a bereavement at Christmas, then this can make the holidays even more difficult to navigate. Planning your days and giving them a structure can help, while walking/exercise that gets you moving and outside, rather than sitting indoors watching TV all day, can also help to support your mental wellbeing.

Practice self-care: From saying ‘no’ to invitations and giving yourself time to rest, to planning activities you enjoy and removing any guilt you may feel about putting yourself first, practising self-care will help prevent overwhelm over Christmas.

Ask for help: Even during the holidays, support from the Samaritans is always available, while Cruse Bereavement Care also provides support for those who are grieving (check online for opening hours).

“We have a safety plan that we use with our clients, with three things people can do to help work with their thoughts and feelings,” said Sarah. “For example, have three people you can contact if you need to. Think about who you can reach out to and where you can go for help.

“There are also sources of support available over the holiday period. Sometimes, it’s just about being in someone’s presence or talking to someone. We would always say to children and young people to go to a trusted adult.”

Keep Christmas on track

Taking things in moderation, avoiding comparison, practicing self-care and staying connected with people are just some of the ways you can look out for your mental health this Christmas. Whether it’s in relation to yourself or someone you know, being aware of the signs of poor mental health and knowing what to do to minimise triggers can help.

Meanwhile, setting boundaries around activities and knowing your limits for socialising can also support better wellbeing at Christmas, without isolating yourself. Talking with someone who you trust and explaining how you feel about the festive season can also help to make Christmas more manageable. Ultimately, being kind to yourself is key.

If you are in crisis or distress, please remember that Lifeline operates 24/7 throughout the holiday period – you can call them and talk to a trained counsellor on: 0808 808 8000.

The Samaritans can also be contacted 24/7 by calling: 116 123.

For young people, Papyrus operate HOPELINE247 at: 0800 068 41 41.

Contact Childline on: 0800 1111.

Reference:

https://yougov.co.uk/health/articles/26954-christmas-harms-mental-health-quarter-brits

AMH News

Overcoming stress and isolation through therapy: Kapeela’s story

November 8, 2024 actionmentalhealth

The beginning of November marks International Stress Awareness Week (with Stress Awareness Day on November 6), which aims to raise awareness about stress, as well as highlighting ways in which we can combat it. With the theme for World Mental Health Day this year also centred around burnout and improving mental health in the workplace, if you’re experiencing any of these issues then it’s important to know that help is out there.

When Kapeela – a young professional working far from home in Northern Ireland during the pandemic – found her mental health deteriorating due to stress and related issues, she realised that she needed support.

Having moved to Northern Ireland seven years ago to study, Kapeela, now aged 28, had been in employment for the past four years, with things going well for her during that time. However, a series of stressful experiences, including working during the pandemic, along with a relationship breakup, new job and moving into a new home, ultimately took its toll on her mental health.

Initially, it was the pandemic which impacted upon her mental health, prompting Kapeela to seek private counselling.

“It was difficult being away from family,” she said. “That was my first instance with ill mental health. I got private therapy and managed to go home for a while and then when I came back, life was back to normal.”

In 2023, however, Kapeela bought a new home while simultaneously taking on a new job. She was also newly single, all of which negatively affected her mental health and prompted her to contact her GP for help.

“It was a very stressful time in my life but also, financially, it was quite difficult for me to access private therapy,” she said. “It was quite an isolating time and I didn’t feel I had the right support in place to keep me going. So, that’s why I got in touch with my GP and they referred me to Action Mental Health and I then had therapy for six weeks through Action Mental Health.

“I was able to have talking therapy consistently every week with my counsellor. We went through lots of helpful tools – working on guilt, shame, self-esteem. I had that nine months ago and am still able to apply most of those tools to my day-to-day life. It made a huge impact and I really needed it, so I was grateful that the service was there and accessible and free. I definitely benefitted from it.”

Finding a safe space

Having reached out for help when she was “at breaking point,” Kapeela said that attending therapy at Action Mental Health had been a “very cathartic” experience.

“I was nervous,” she said. “But it was a very safe space. It was online and I definitely felt that I was in good hands. My therapist was very experienced and knew how to work with me. I think during those six weeks it was a very helpful experience.”

Due to her experience with therapy previously, Kapeela added that she was keen to ask her counsellor this time around for more information about mental health – and to really delve into the tools and techniques that could help her. Her sessions subsequently looked at, amongst other things, addressing Kapeela’s core beliefs, as well as discussing areas such as guilt, shame and self-esteem.

“My counsellor was able to provide me with tried and tested methods of training to cope with my core beliefs,” she said. “She was able to answer my questions and was available through email as well. She told me to contact her any time during those six weeks. She also encouraged me to journal and to bring (what I wrote) along to the therapy sessions so we could discuss them. It felt like a very involved experience – like we were in it together trying to cope with the issues. I was then able to lean on others a lot more, too.

“After the therapy sessions ended I realised what my coping mechanisms might be. They highlighted my strengths – that were really inside of me the whole time – and I was able to rely on myself a bit more and have more confidence in myself to use those tools and get back to my day-to-day life.”

Ultimately, Kapeela said that her therapy experience with Action Mental Health had helped her to share her problems and to feel less alone when at the time, she’d felt the opposite. She added that being able to lean on other people had also removed that feeling of having the “entire weight of the world on your shoulders.”

“It can feel very isolating when you think that your problems are not relatable to somebody else, but speaking to a talking therapist… they’re able to get to the crux of the situation and to draw things out of you and work through it with you,” she said. “That’s something my therapist at Action Mental Health was able to do.”

Supporting the “I AM SOMEONE” campaign

As someone who has benefitted from the support offered by Action Mental Health, Kapeela said she was delighted to have been able to give back by assisting with the “I AM SOMEONE” campaign. With private therapy too expensive for her previously, she added that removing the financial barrier and accessing the free services at Action Mental Health had enabled her to seek professional help when she needed it.

“Donating to the service would mean someone else doesn’t need to think about that either,” she said. “I would just like to say thank you to Action Mental Health and I’m just very grateful that there’s opportunities for us to volunteer as well – to be able to give back. We [often] think we only have to give money but you can give your time and you can be compassionate to somebody else. It’s so rewarding.”

She added that the “I AM SOMEONE” campaign was “going to be so helpful for people to realise that the service is out there” for those willing to take that first step and ask for help.

“It’s accessible, it’s free, it’s easy to get in touch with Action Mental Health, so I would really just recommend anyone who’s struggling at the minute to ask for help,” she said. “It gets easier.”

Looking to the future

Now in a much better place with her mental health, Kapeela said that she was ultimately reassured by the fact that the support from Action Mental Health was still out there, if she needed it again.

“That in itself provides a bit of security to me,” she said. “Knowing that I’ve benefitted from the service and can still access it if needed and that there’s still somebody out there who can listen to me and provide that support.

“But in the past nine months I’ve been able to go back to work and engage in tasks and activities I wasn’t really able to engage in when I was feeling quite low. So, I’ve managed to regain that aspect of my life through therapy and have the confidence to go back to my day-to-day life.”

While she still does miss her family and home, Kapeela has various mementos, which she said had helped her alongside the therapeutic support. These include photographs of her family, given to her as part of care package that also contained messages, along with art from her nieces and nephews and letters.

“It was a surprise, as I didn’t know any of it was coming,” she said. “They gave it to me when I left at the airport, so that was really special.”

Meanwhile, her new home in Northern Ireland is one that also provides its own support, as Kapeela loves getting out in nature and enjoying the many green and coastal spaces here.

“I work in a very busy environment and being out in nature, it’s so tranquil, so serene,” she said. “I love being by the beach. Being able to connect with nature is very important to me and I think that’s something Northern Ireland has an abundance of – nature, seaside, scenery – it’s one of the reasons I’ve stayed on and haven’t gone back to another busy city. I really enjoy being in Northern Ireland.”

Reflecting on her progress to date, Kapeela added that her life was a lot more settled now and that she was no longer the lonely person she had been when she was struggling with her mental health.

“I definitely feel that that part of my life is something I’ve gone through but that it’s not a part that I’m going through at the minute,” she said. “Therapy definitely helped me to move on from feeling that low – and whenever those feelings come up again, I know I’m able to navigate through them with the support of my family and the tools I’ve gained from therapy.

“I feel I’m in a much better place now, which is great.”

To find out more about “I AM SOMEONE” and/or donate, visit www.amh.org.uk/iamsomeone

AMH News

Dealing with exam results stress

August 15, 2022 actionmentalhealth

The stress levels of school children and students start to rise as they approach exam results days, often with fear and trepidation. Action Mental Health is offering young people and families support and tips on getting prepared and learning to recognise and deal with exam results stress.

It is normal to feel a bit worried about exam results, especially if you’re under pressure from school or family. It can cause you to feel anxious or depressed, and this might affect your sleeping or eating habits.

If you recognise any of these feelings or are worried that exam results pressure is taking over your life, you are not alone, and there are things you and those around you can do to help.

In this article, we highlight some useful tips to help you overcome the feelings you may have about your exam results.

Symptoms of excessive stress include:

Physical effects such as headaches, dizziness and stomach upset.
Being preoccupied with thoughts of exams and feeling unable to relax.
Becoming withdrawn from friends, family and hobbies.
Constant tiredness due to problems sleeping.
Loss of appetite or over-eating.
Seeing only the negative side of things.
Becoming more aggressive and short-tempered with those around you.
Feeling so low and desperate that you are considering stopping school, running away or harming yourself.

If you can relate to any of these feelings, it is important to seek support. There are a number of services which AMH MensSana can sign-post you to that offer help and advice or you may find support from friends, family or someone at school – it doesn’t matter who, but it is important to speak to someone.

For young people

Check out our list of tips and techniques to help you deal with results day stress. Different things work for everyone so try some out and choose the ones that work best for you.

1. Talk to people around you

Try not to bottle up your feelings. Mental health issues aren’t uncommon among students, so you’ll likely know others who are struggling. Your parents or older relatives may have also felt the same sort of emotions waiting for their results. Sometimes just talking about your anxieties out loud can help ease the burden.

2. Plan for the best and worst outcomes

Exams don’t always go to plan, and you might not get the grades you need. Make sure you’ve researched what to do on results day but don’t dwell on the worst-case scenario. Think of a way to celebrate with friends and family if you do get the results you need. Even if your grades aren’t great, you still deserve to do something nice.

3. Maintain a normal routine

Try not to let waiting for your exams take over your summer. Keep yourself as busy as possible to distract yourself from results day stress. If you have hobbies, keep up with them and try to stick with any plans you’ve made, such as holidays and spending time with friends.

4. Have someone with you when you get your results

Have someone with you on the day to offer reassurance, talk through options if your results aren’t what you wanted, and hopefully celebrate your success. This could be a parent, guardian, sibling, friend, or even a teacher.

5. Don’t feel like you have to open your results with friends or share what you got

There can be a lot of peer pressure to open results at the same time and share what you got with everyone, but you don’t have to. You can collect your results and open them at home to avoid this scenario. Many schools and colleges will also publish results online or offer a text results service.

6. Don’t compete or compare your results with others

A common feature of results day is students sharing their results on social media and this can lead to comparing your results unfavourably. It may help to avoid social media completely for a few days.

Remember to judge your success by your own standards. If you know you worked hard for your grades, but your friend got higher ones, that doesn’t make your achievement any less impressive.

Supporting someone experiencing exam results stress

Young people will find stress much easier to deal with if they receive support from those around them. As a parent/guardian you can help and support a young person by:

Taking an interest in their study by offering encouragement and support – try not to criticise or place added pressure on them.
Praising and encouraging their efforts and achievements can be motivating and demonstrates your support for them.
Try to keep things in perspective and encourage them to do the same – remember that exam results are not the only indicator of a young person’s capabilities.

Taking exams and getting your exam results can be a worrying time. It can seem like your future depends on what you get. Receiving disappointing results can feel like the end of the world, but it is important to remember that people’s strengths and weaknesses lie in different areas and not everyone performs at their best under exam conditions.

The results you receive do not have to define what you do or who you are in the future.