At Christmas the focus on family and friends can be really difficult for those dealing with the loss of a loved one
Bereavement can feel overwhelming but there are helpful ways to help you approach this festive period – when you may feel like you’re the only one not enjoying the season’s usual festive cheer.
Action Mental Health’s friends at Cruse provide a very useful guide to help people through a bereavement-tainted festive period, whether recent or even many years ago.
We know that facing Christmas alone, or whilst grieving, can be a daunting prospect. Whether you are recently bereaved or in the more distant past, it is important to try and look after yourself and work out the best ways to cope.
Here are some practical ways to cope with the loss of a loved one over Christmas.
1. Consider different ways of celebrating
One of the things that can help can be to spend some time trying to work out, well in advance, which arrangements will best suit your needs and the needs of others who share your loss. Some bereaved people find that they do not wish to celebrate Christmas at all, whilst some find that simply maintaining their routine and celebrating as normal is the best tribute they can pay their loved one. It may feel important to make a special effort to remember the person who has died. This can be as simple as ‘speaking’ to the person, silently or out loud, or it may involve visiting their grave, or a place that was special to them. These can be things that we do alone, or with friends or family. You may have photos or particular memories, which you treasure; sharing these with others may be something that brings you together.
2. Accept that others may have different ways of mourning
We know that people remember and mourn in different ways. Conflict within a family can sometimes arise when we have expectations of how others should grieve, so try to be sensitive to others’ needs, and to talk openly about what will be best for you.
3. Try to maintain a routine
The Christmas period may mean that your normal routine is disrupted, and this can make it easier to forget to look after yourself. Maintaining regular patterns of sleeping and eating are small things that can make a difference. Seeing friends or family, or even volunteering for the day, can also help.
4. Go easy on the drink
It’s tempting to drink more on festive occasions, and it can feel like a drink might help numb any difficult feelings. But it’s important to remember that using alcohol to escape the pain of loss provides only very temporary relief. If you find you’re relying heavily on drinking alcohol, consider taking some drink free days. You can also find advice from Drink Aware on how to reduce your alcohol consumption.
5. Remember the happy times
Even many years after someone dies, Christmas can be a difficult, intensely emotional time when we need to look after ourselves and those around us. But as time passes, special occasions like Christmas can help us remember happy memories of good times shared in the past.
Unsplash/Shane
6. Skip the Christmas films
It can be tough when you are bombarded by images of people enjoying happy family times. If it’s getting too much, consider taking a break from the Christmas TV and social media and maybe take a walk or get some fresh air in any way you can.
If you’re struggling to deal with the grieving process over Christmas, you can call the Cruse National Helpline on 0808 808 1677, see here for opening hours. Alternatively you can message a trained grief counsellor using our CruseChat service 9am – 9pm Monday – Friday.
Suicide remains the leading cause of death in men under 50 in Northern Ireland, with a third of men reporting suicidal thoughts and 77% stating that they’ve suffered with symptoms of mental ill-health in their lifetime. Despite this, men remain nearly half as likely to seek professional help for mental health concerns. The message is clear. It’s time to talk about men’s mental health.
The Stigma around Mental Health for Men
Mental health can prove difficult to talk about, for everyone. Yet, societal expectations around masculinity and male mental health can often leave men feeling completely unable to speak up and access support.
As young children, little boys are consistently bombarded with the message that “big boys don’t cry”. As adolescents, they’re frequently told to “man up” at the first sign of emotional struggle. As boys turn to men, they’re quickly flooded with unrealistic ideals of masculinity whereby men can be expected to be the “provider” figure within households and are taught to never show pain or vulnerability.
It is therefore not surprising that many men are left without appropriate coping strategies, support systems and examples of how to prioritise their mental wellbeing.
In fact, a recent survey of UK men found that as many as four in ten won’t discuss their mental health with close friends, family or medical practitioners. Startlingly, 40% also reported that it would take thoughts of suicide or self-harm in order for them to feel justified in seeking professional help.
These unrealistic gender stereotypes prove problematic in many ways. Not only does this stigma prevent men from accessing support, but also recent research indicates that the excessive pressure placed on men is further driving mental ill-health. Specifically, men appear to feel a disproportionate pressure to perform highly both inside and outside of the workplace, with 32% of men stating work-related pressure as a primary cause of stress and 31% citing financial pressures as a leading contributor.
Outside of the workplace, men report lower levels of life satisfaction than women, and are more likely to engage in risk-taking behaviours such as drug and alcohol abuse.
Whilst these statistics paint a worrisome picture, help and support are available. It’s time to spot the signs, intervene early and begin to break the stigma.
Spotting the signs of mental ill-health in men
In many instances, men and women will exhibit similar symptoms of mental ill-health. If you are concerned that you or someone you know may be struggling, consider the following common signs and symptoms:
Changes in mood or energy levels
Changes in appetite or eating patterns
Compulsive or risk-taking behavior
Difficulty concentrating or trouble focusing
Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness
Frequently feeling anxious, stressed or overwhelmed
Changes in sleep habits such as sleeping too much or too little
Losing interest in things that were once enjoyable
Social isolation
Whilst both men and women experience many of these symptoms, some signs are more prevalent in men. Examples include:
Reckless of risk-taking behavior
Working excessively
Increased dependence or drugs and/or alcohol
Anger and irritability
Silence breeds stigma
Reducing the stigma around male mental health often feels daunting. You do not have to do that work alone! We know that workplace stressors often act as a trigger to men’s mental health problems, with many men feeling unable to ask for help within their workplaces. AMH Works aims to break down the taboo surrounding workplace mental health and promote employee wellbeing through specialized workplace mental health training. Qualified trainers deliver a range of prevention and early intervention workshops using best practice models in wellbeing to promote conversations and support for mental-ill health at work. Our training programmes include:
Men’s Mental Health and Personal Resilience discusses the unique challenges and barriers men face in managing their mental health. This course utilizes evidence-based strategies to build resilience, combat stress and promote positive mental health.
Mindful Manager equips managers with skills, knowledge and confidence to address employee mental ill-health in the workplace and proactively contribute to the development of a healthy, resilient workplace.
Mental Health Awareness develops an understanding of mental ill-health and the skills needed to effectively and sensitively support employee and personal wellbeing.
Stress Awareness identifies common stressors that impact on an individual and provides practical advice on how to reduce the negative effect of these.
Personal Resilience focuses on how individuals can improve their own wellbeing and increase resilience, as well as introducing practical tools and strategies that provide participants with the skills and ability to cope with everyday life and work pressures as well as significant life events.
Burnout & Rest identifies the causes and stages of burnout, raising awareness of preventative approaches to avoid burnout and ways we can effectively incorporate rest into our routines.
safeTALK training will prepare you to identify persons with thoughts of suicide and connect them to suicide first-aid resources.
Mental Health First Aid enhances understanding of mental ill-health and develops skills, motivation, knowledge and confidence in offering help to individuals with acute mental ill-health.
Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) will enable people in a position of trust to recognise risk and learn how to intervene to prevent the immediate risk of suicide.
Accessing mental health support for you or someone you know
If you or someone you know are suffering from poor mental health, you are not alone. As many as one in four adults in Northern Ireland experience signs of a mental health issue every year. Help is available:
Reach out to your GP: When you talk to your GP about your mental health, they will listen, give you advice and introduce you to a mental health service they think will be most helpful to you. These services may come from your GP surgery, a large local health centre, a specialist mental health clinic or a hospital.
Lifeline: Lifeline is a free 24/7 crisis response helpline service for those experiencing distress or despair. Lifeline is there to help 24 hours a day and can be contacted on: 0808 808 8000
AMH New Life Counselling: AMH New Life Counselling provides high quality counselling services across Greater Belfast. Further information can be found at: https://www.amh.org.uk/new-life-counselling/
Lauren currently works as a trainer within Action Mental Health Works which centres on reducing stigma and improving mental wellbeing in Northern Irish workplaces.
Having gained the National Academic Performance Award and a first class honours degree in Psychology, Lauren’s professional pursuits have largely centred on reducing stigma and promoting early intervention for those suffering from mental ill health. Lauren has gained a breadth professional of experience within the mental health sector including complex mental health, homelessness, addiction, eating disorders and therapeutic intervention. Lauren has also taken an active role within the charitable sector. She is currently a committee trustee for both the Lawrence Trust and the Eating Disorders Association NI.
Two Belfast primary schools have celebrated the launch of an animation about children’s mental health and wellbeing.
The animation, called ‘Our wee thoughts and feelings’, was created by pupils from Elmgrove PS and Christ the Redeemer PS, who took part in a shared learning and cross-community exchange through the OUR Generation project. The children came together to watch their completed animation on Friday 14th October, and were visited by CEO of Action Mental Health, David Babington.
At the launch, they were also joined by members of the Urban Villages Initiative, local co-ordinator for Colin, Philip Magee, and Kathy Anjorin from Eastside, both attended for the premiere of the animation.
Throughout the last school year, pupils completed ‘Better Together’ – a programme where P.6 and P.7’s learn about friendship, empathy and breathing techniques for dealing with feelings and emotions.
During the project, the children visited each other’s schools which are located in separate Urban Village areas of Belfast. Elmgrove PS is in East Side (East Belfast), and Christ the Redeemer PS is in Colin in the west of the city.
They explored creative ways to show case their learning alongside professional animator Joel Simon from Hola Lola Animations – whose animated films and programs have been shown internationally, for clients such as Channel 4, Comic Relief UK, Discovery Channel and the BBC.
Speaking at the launch event at Christ the Redeemer Primary School, David Babington thanked both schools for taking part in the “shared learning exchange.”
He congratulated pupils, and told them it would be something they could “look back on proudly in years to come.”
He said: “OUR Generation and Action Mental Health will continue to use this animation when delivering our programmes to other children and young people – helping them grow up better together.”
You can watch ‘OUR wee thoughts and feelings’ below:
David Babington, Chief Executive of Action Mental HealthDavid speaking to pupils at the animation premiereOUR Generation Project Worker, Geraldine MorrisonCaiti Mulholland, OG Project worker, guest Olga Sheveleva, MENHIR Digital Project and Laura Euler, OG Service Delivery Manager
We at Action Mental Health are creating a youth-led mental health panel. A panel that will be run by individuals (aged 13-24) for young people with the focus on helping improve the wellbeing and resilience of future generations.
The AMH youth led panel will give children and young people the opportunity to contribute their views, opinions and ideas to help with:
The development of AMH projects and programmes for children and young people
and to inform policy and decision making in relation to mental and emotional wellbeing of children and young people in NI
Join our Zoom information sessions to find out more
If you would like your say in young peoples mental health join one of our zoom information sessions with AMH project workers Caiti and Laura – Parents are welcome!
Young people make up a third of the population in Northern Ireland and every single young person is an expert in youth mental health as they have their own lived experience to contribute.
Action Mental Health see an amazing opportunity to improve our own services and the wider mental health service provision for children and young people in NI.
By listening to and championing these expertise and life experience we can help make a difference for youth mental health in NI
We advocate for youth engagement and empowerment, we know how important peer support is and have recently developed our peer and mental health ambassador programmes to help children and young people promote positive mental health and help each other to get support when it is needed.
At Action Mental Health we’re ready to go to the next level for youth engagement and empowerment in Mental Health.
How to get involved
There a number of ways you can get involved on our Youth Mental Health Panel.
The document below describes the different roles that make up the panel.
Action Mental Health has launched this year’s Festive Sea Splash event and invites willing dippers to don their festive hats and make a splash for mental health. Taking place from 10am Sunday 11 December at Crawfordsburn beach, County Down, the pre-booked event is a fantastic way to get active, bring a group of friends together and enjoy outdoor headspace, while raising vital funds to support mental health services.
Since the pandemic people have realised the many benefits of using Northern Ireland’s beautiful stretches of open water and the connection this brings with others and with their own positive wellbeing.
There is also growing evidence to suggest that cold water immersion and sea swimming can have a positive impact on people’s mental health and wellbeing.
Open to adults 18 and over, the event carries a pre-registration fee of £10 and a minimum sponsorship of £50 per person. All splashers receive an AMH T-shirt, a Festive Sea Splash medal, hazard blanket and hot refreshment.
For further essential information and to book your opportunity to splash for AMH please visit https://www.amh.org.uk/events/amh-festive-sea-splash-2022/
Action Mental Health has made the final shortlist for UK Employer of the Year (50-249 employees): Platinum at The Investors in People Awards 2022. In a record-breaking year for entries, with over three hundred organisations involved, this is an outstanding achievement.
The shortlisting comes after Action Mental Health, who aim to enhance the quality of life and the employability of people with mental health needs or a learning disability in Northern Ireland were awarded Platinum accreditation earlier this year in the latest Investors in People Accreditations.
Following a rigorous assessment across over 240 members of staff, this accreditation is an elevation on previous Gold standard that Action Mental health had been receiving since 2013.
David Babbington, CEO Action Mental Health said: “It is a privilege to be shortlisted for this award; a clear indication of the dedication and hard work the team has invested in the business. I am proud that the organisation continues to commit itself to its staff so that we can all help create a society that actively values and supports people on their journey to positive mental health.”
Paul Devoy, CEO of Investors in People, commented: “In what has been the biggest and most competitive year so far, it always makes me feel immensely proud to see so many fantastic organisations and individuals staking their claim to be the best. And every year, the entries do get more and more competitive and the judging even tighter. Reaching the final shortlist is a testament to the amazing commitment these organisations are making to make work better for their people, and they truly deserve this recognition.”
The Investors in People Awards celebrate the very best organisations and individuals from around the world across various organisational, people, wellbeing and leadership categories. Each year hundreds of organisations from the UK and abroad battle it out to take home one of the sought after trophies to show their award-winning commitment to ‘Make Work Better.’
The Winners will be announced at a black tie gala ceremony on the 15thNovember at Old Billingsgate in London.
The impact report is packed with information and key stats from across our range of recovery, resilience and counselling services, as well as our business support team.
In what was a very different and challenging year, this report shows how Action Mental Health continued to deliver key services and have a positive impact in our local communities, despite the challenges we all faced.
During 2021/22 Action Mental Health continued to live up to our mission – to make a positive difference to people’s mental health and wellbeing!
You can also watch these short videos, to see some of the highlights from this year’s Impact Report.
As part of Action Mental Health’s Go Purple campaign, a number of Northern Ireland’s most recognisable buildings were illuminated purple on the 10 October to recognise World Mental Health Day.
The iconic landmarks went purple after dark in order to raise awareness and help support the campaign to make mental health and wellbeing a priority for all. Buildings included Titanic Belfast, SS Nomadic and Ulster University Magee Campus (pictured).
For too long, the mental health of people in Northern Ireland has been underfunded and undervalued.
Given the impact of the COVID pandemic and the cost of living crisis, it has never been more important to prioritise the mental health of our population. Urgent action is required to address the shortfall in the mental health investment in Northern Ireland and to ensure the vision outlined in the Mental Health Strategy becomes a reality.
Issues for core mental health services are being compounded by the loss of future European funding and funding that is still required for both the Northern Ireland Mental Health Strategy and the Protect Life Suicide Prevention Strategy. In the case of European funding, the current European Social Fund (ESF) programme ends in March 2023. The situation has now reached a “critical cliff edge” as there is no clear idea how the ESF money will be replaced and it is becoming apparent that the proposed UK Shared Prosperity Fund will not sufficiently fill the funding gap.
As well as the gap in European Funding, new financial pressures due to the Cost of Living Crisis are now also placing pressures on people’s mental health.
David Babington, Chief Executive of Action Mental health said, “We truly are at a critical juncture in the mental health sector in Northern Ireland and that is why urgent support and action is required now.
“We understand there are many conflicting funding challenges in Northern Ireland at present. We now more than ever need clear leadership and action. Our organisation is calling for a replacement of European Social funds, a fully funded mental health strategy, and The Executive to form to tackle the cost of living crisis. It’s not too late, but time is running out.”
AMH Services celebrate World Mental Health Day
Antrim Service
Antrim New Horizons opened a client art exhibition on Monday 10 October. The exhibition was officially open by Councillor Leah Smyth, the Deputy Mayor of Antrim in Clotworthy House, Antrim. The art exhibition will run to the end of October 2022.
Downpatrick Service
We were delighted to meet Patrick Brown MLA Alliance Party Member of the Northern Ireland Assembly to the Downpatrick service.
This was a great opportunity to promote the work that we do in the local area.
The New Horizons invited everyone in to sample a range of activities, including swimming at Down leisure centre, walking, creative writing, IT session and planting hanging baskets in the garden centre.
Down Leisure centre turned purple – Big thanks to Newry, Mourne and Down council for sorting this.
North Down & Ards
Clients and Staff from AMH New Horizons North Down & Ards were welcomed to Ards Blair Mayne Wellbeing & Leisure Complex to celebrate World Mental Health Day for a tour of the fabulous facilities and an overview by Ards & North Down Council staff on the benefits of exercise, how to become a member of the leisure complex and the opportunities to enjoy the outdoor spaces & coastline managed by the Council. Everyone enjoyed a Chi Me session at the end of the tour which was extremely relaxing and the first time that many of the clients had visited the leisure complex. Our thanks to the staff from Ards & North Down Borough Council for supporting AMH on World Mental Health Day.
Later on in the day, Cllr Karen Douglas, Mayor of Ards & North Down joined clients at for a session of Archery, promoting the Five Ways To Wellbeing, keeping active, learning a new skill and connecting with others.
Lisburn Service
Lisburn New Horizons had the pleasure of welcoming Clare, Mark and Joel to the service on Wednesday morning. It was inspirational listening to their stories, they were open and honest, bad days do still exist but they are now better equipped to deal with these through coping strategies developed during their time at New Horizons.
Belfast Service
Our Belfast Service held a coffee morning for staff.
Fundraising
A huge thank you to all who joined us to take part in Go Purple. Pictured below:
Hendersons Foodservice; St Matthews Primary School, Drumsurn; Kilwaughter Lime and Ardmore Advertising.
