One step forward and three steps back.

Falling, stumbling, just scrambling to the surface.

Lost in what seems like a never ending void, an infinite limbo.

Aware of the me I want to be, but how to get there, where is my map.

Just one little step, that’s all it takes.

Mountains are climbed, oceans are travelled, battles are conquered with just one little step.

So why, oh why can’t I seem to move my feet.

Stuck here in my pillow fortress, my walls are caving in.

When will I begin?

This invisible cloak draped over my life, no-body else can see, do they even still see me?

How can you explain what you can’t see or touch, when the feelings become a blurry haze I can’t even understand.

My hope a burning ember, longing for a new.

Just to shake this fear, this guilt, this shame, to move into the light.

I still have dreams and hopes, a need to explore. My heart is still telling me, you are worth so much more.

How do I begin, when I still feel stuck within…

Just one little step.

Eating Disorders Awareness Week – Day 3

“I’m #TakingActionOnEatingDisorders because I want to speak out to help dispel the stigma and make others aware that eating disorders can effect any one of us; at anytime we can develop the fractious relationship with our eating. 

I want to introduce you and warn you of an old accomplice who I call Ana. You may have heard of her before however she typically thrives on secrecy and tends to hide away from social situations.  Ana is someone you need to be really careful around. 

Initially she appears as your friend, everything you desire – funny, confident, pretty, focused and thin. She can teach you so much (or so she leads you to believe); how to cope in adversity, helping you to thrive alongside helping you to make basic to difficult life decisions. The one person who gets you .. who understands you. She stands by you through the tough times, providing a shoulder to cry on and as a result you begin to trust her until she becomes your one and only – the one person you confide in. 

Ana helped me become the best version of me (or so I thought) I mean she helped me appear strong, resilient, confident, happy – how to place a fake smile and even kept me focused so I could finally stick to the diet I had long promised I’d try to stick to and become thinner, prettier – I mean she does sound like an amazing friend! 

Ana taught me how to finally see the pounds drop off so quick, how to starve myself without anyone noticing or making much fuss. She taught me how to enjoy exercising regularly throughout the day. But after a while she started to force me to look in the mirror every morning, pinching and grabbing at skin day by day to make sure it was disappearing, picking out all my flaws and insecurities. She made me change my clothes a dozen times before I found the right baggy clothes to hide my body that she detested to look at. She forced me on the scales four/ five/ six times a day to watch how food and fluid impacted on my weight, waiting and longing her approval- if I lost she was so happy and proud, encouraging me to keep up the ‘good work’ which made me feel so good-accepted, winning and finally doing something well. 

Yet when I stayed the same or gained, she called me all sorts of horrible names, screaming and arguing with me until I gave in to her demands and would haven taken a laxative or supplement or on the odd occasion spent time with her friend Mia just so she would be my friend again and be proud. For a long time, I just thought I found such an amazing friend as she was motivating, helping me to get success- the results in the mirror, on the scales and in day to day achievements I had longed for over the years. 

What I couldn’t understand though was others who were close to me really didn’t like her, they tried everything to tear us apart- they seen her as a problem, a negative influence leading me down a darkened path. I just couldn’t bare it, I felt like they were out to get me, jealous of me, trying to fatten me up and dampen my sparkle- well so Ana said. Eventually I became deceitful, isolating myself. hanging out with Ana behind their backs as she told me they were no good. Together myself and Ana watched the pounds drop off in secret until eventually I ended up very physically unwell, I couldn’t understand it- my heart began to cause trouble and I had to take a lot of time out to rest. Naturally when you’re physically unwell you need food to lift your energy and to help make you better. But she didn’t like this one bit, Ana turned nasty and got very controlling- a bully (and here was me thinking I had the control)! Everyday over the next while I spent being tortured by her all because I was trying to get better, struggling between the conflict of trying to get well and caving into her demands to have an easy life without her shouting at me all the time. I was so upset and became so emotionally exhausted, at an impasse .. how could she want me to live life like this?

It was at this stage I realised Ana maybe isn’t my friend after all. She was a manipulator, a liar, a bully, a parasite that prays on the vulnerable. I eventually spoke out and confided in people about Ana’s bullying and was very fortunate to have been supported quickly into getting amazing help. It was over the next while through a lot of formal and informal chats and coffee dates with highly supportive people I’ve been blessed to have in my life that I realised Ana doesn’t want what’s best for you, she wants to remove you from all that you have accomplished: relationships, career, education until it’s just you and her alone slowly dulling your sparkle until you begin to fade away and loose everything including your own identity and self-worth.

She associates your reality to making you feel so alone, like you aren’t enough- like you’re unworthy, making you believe the happiness you search for is only going to be found in the reflection of the mirror, the control of the number on the scales, the lowest limit in your clothes size- she keeps promising the lower you go the closer you will get to finding that happiness…..  but she is a con, a misery- and misery liked company! 

What I have learnt through all of this and hope that others can take away, is that it’s not the reflection or numbers or external beauty that truly makes you happy in life… it’s contentment and gratitude in all our surroundings, the caring people around us, the small achievements and accomplishments that we have made… even if it’s that we managed to get up out of bed this morning, our positive and quirky qualities/ personalities and caring hearts! 

So please begin to embrace those imperfections you see and may put yourself down for because to everyone else these are the marks of your authenticity and that’s the beauty of you that everyone loves! As long as your healthy your weight doesn’t matter and your reflection is irrelevant. 

So please if Ana or any of her other associates try to or do befriend you… in some cases even initially trying to mask themselves as the innocent voice of reason during ‘a diet’, please don’t keep your ‘friendship’ a secret! please share your encounters with people because what Ana doesn’t want you to know is that she is an EATING DISORDER slowly trying to deplete you until you may unfortunately loose the fighting battle against her chasing those unattainable goals that she promised so strongly.

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rates amongst any other mental illness with 20% of those experiencing an eating disorder never getting to make a full recovery. 

Therefore, I hope by sharing this encounter you can spot the signs early and speak out to get the help you deserve. Never feel embarrassed or afraid to share your story! (It’s easier said than done though, I know as I’m feeling these emotions now) But our health is our wealth and we all go through silent battles with mental ill-health with the main catalyst to hindering our prospects of recovery and accessing the support being that of silence and fear of the stigma. So don’t ever be ashamed! We are all in this together! 

As the saying goes, when we replace the “I” in illness with “we” it becomes wellness!

Let’s be kind and support one and other!”

On Day Two of Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2020 we assess the common myths and misconceptions that exist around eating disorders which can act as an obstacle to seeking help, for some people. The following myths are among those regularly heard by AMH everyBODY project workers:

Eating disorders are a choice 

Eating disorders are serious psychological illnesses which NO-ONE can CHOOSE to develop. Eating disorders develop as a result of a complex interaction between psychological, social and biological factors. Each person’s experience of an eating disorder will be unique to them. No-one can choose to develop an eating disorder;

Eating disorders are attention seeking

Eating disorders thrive in secrecy. The average times it takes someone to speak out and seek help for an eating disorder is three years. Three years is too long for anyone to be struggling in silence. We can help to change this by smashing the stigma and removing the shame.

Only females develop eating disorders

Anyone can develop an eating disorder, regardless of gender. Men can and do develop eating disorders, 25% of reported cases are male. Eating disorders do not discriminate along any lines whether that is gender, race, socio-economic status or age;

You must be really thin to have an eating disorder

Eating disorders are serious psychological illnesses which cannot be fully assessed on objective measures such as weight and shape.  Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes and you cannot tell by looking at someone whether or not they have an eating disorder. Many people who may appear to be within a normal weight range can actually be seriously struggling with a very serious eating disorder. These misconceptions can perpetuate the problem and may cause distress for those with an eating disorder who don’t look a certain way for fear of not being “sick enough” or “good enough” at their disorder to deserve treatment.

Eating disorders are just a phase

Eating disorders are serious psychological illnesses and must be treated as such. Early intervention and support is vital and greatly improves prognosis of the illness. If you suspect you have an eating disorder or you suspect a loved one has an eating disorder, please seek help now. Eating disorders do not just go away;

Eating Disorders are all about food and weight

Eating disorders are serious psychological illnesses. Individuals with eating disorders generally have a preoccupation with food and weight, but the symptoms of an eating disorder can extend far beyond food.  Research has shown links between eating disorders, perfectionism, and obsessive compulsions, which can lead to a fixation on grades, sports performance, etc.  At the core an eating disorder is used as a coping mechanism for difficult emotions and situations, and much more to do with how a person is feeling and their sense of self.

Eating Disorders are a teenage illness

While evidence indicates that adolescence is an extremely vulnerable stage for the development of an eating disorder, eating disorders can and do develop at any age. Eating disorders do not discriminate and anyone at any age can develop an eating disorder;

Strict rules about eating or fad diets aren’t a problem

What appears to be a strict diet on the surface may actually be the beginning of an eating disorder. Even if the symptoms do not meet the criteria for a clinical eating disorder diagnosis, disordered eating can have serious medical consequences, such as anemia and bone loss. Individuals dealing with serious disordered eating may benefit from intervention and treatment to address their concerns before it becomes a full-blown eating disorder. Chronic dieting has been associated with the later development of an eating disorder, so addressing these issues right away may prevent development into an eating disorder.

Recovery is rare

People can and do recover from eating disorders. Recovery is always possible. Recovery can take time and it can be extremely challenging but recovery is always possible.  

As a community we can improve awareness of Eating Disorders by being aware of these misconceptions and changing the conversation. Ensuring that there is an open conversation on the subject and removing any shame attached. Eating Disorders do not have a shape or size, they can affect anyone, anywhere, and everyBODY is deserving of help and support.

This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week – an international week devised to shine a light on anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder and OSFED – a term used to describe ‘other specified feeding or eating disorder’ when a person’s symptoms fall outside the expected symptoms for these three specific eating disorders.

The theme of this year’s focus is “I’m #TakingActionOnEatingDisorders and through Action Mental Health’s eating disorder service everyBODY, people living with the disorders have been speaking out, sharing their stories, in the hopes they’ll inspire people to seek help, as quickly as possible.

It is a sad fact that many people wait an extended periods before seeking help. It’s estimated that on average, 149 weeks pass before those experiencing eating disorder symptoms seek help. That’s almost three years or 1,043 days. 

That’s too long to wait for anyone, especially in light of statistics which show that eating disorders claim more lives than any other mental illness, with one in five of the most seriously affected dying prematurely from the physical consequences or by suicide.

That’s why Action Mental Health’s eating disorder service everyBODY was launched. Operating in the Southern health trust area since 2000, it was formerly known as ADAPT but was relaunched in September 2018 as AMH everyBODY.

EveryBODY’s support employs a preventative, interventionist and postvention approach, targeting the general public with awareness-raising sessions to equip people with the knowledge and skills necessary to self or seek support.  

It also supports people affected by eating disorders, including family members and friends, to support recovery, and develops effective partnerships to ensure comprehensive, progressive support.

In light of the alarming suicide rate linked to eating disorders, AMH everyBODY promotes a greater understanding and awareness of these conditions. It promotes positive lifestyle choices, about eating to develop preventative and self-supporting skills. It also exists to help break the associated stigma – including unhelpful assumptions that it is attention-seeking behaviour or fad dieting that stops people seeking the support they need: in short, having an eating disorder is a serious mental health condition.

The focus of AMH everyBODY’s approach is recovery through partnership; a partnership between the person, their family and the Southern Health and Social Care Trust, who all work collectively to provide comprehensive support towards recovery.  AMH everyBODY provides much needed support not only to the person affected but also to their families and friends at the Carers’ Group monthly meeting.

Eating disorders affect over 700,000 women and men in the UK at any one time, with research suggesting that this figure is vastly underestimated. It is thought some 80% of individuals who screen positively for having an eating disorder have never accessed help or support.  One of the most harmful symptoms of an eating disorder is silence – AMH everyBODY encourages people affected to speak out for support and know that a listening, understanding and confidential ear will be there to provide support towards recovery.

As a community, part of spreading this awareness is by reducing some of the myths and misconceptions around eating disorder.

It is clear from our experience with clients how damaging misunderstanding, stigma and ignorance can be for both the person affected and their families. Indeed, there is no doubt that this stigma and ignorance can act as a major barrier to identification, early intervention and ultimately recovery from the illness.

Action Mental Health’s Deborah McCready, everyBODY Project Worker said: “AMH everyBODY exists to bridge the gap on the clients’ journey from the moment they seek help until they get to speak to a medical expert, as with existing waiting lists this can be some time.

“When people have taken that important step and are willing to engage and seek help AMH everyBODY offers a recovery approach in sessions when people will receive information and support to develop skills, stay focused and healthy until they see a therapist.”  Prior to appointments people can feel unsupported and alone, contact with AMH everyBODY at this time will help people support themselves and get the best from their therapist when they meet.

Action Mental Health is delighted to support Diabetes UK Northern Ireland’s pivotal new initiative for young people.

• A youth led programme uniquely designed for young people living with type 1 diabetes in Northern Ireland
• The programme aims to address the often overlooked emotional impact of diabetes

Diabetes UK Northern Ireland is launching a new mental health and emotional Wellbeing Programme designed for young people living with type 1 diabetes.

 The Our Lives, Our Voices project is funded by the National Lottery Community Fund NI and has been designed by young people living with type 1 diabetes, for young people living with the condition. Our Lives, Our Voices’ young leaders created the Wellbeing Programme to support others in gaining confidence and managing all aspects of their condition. This project aims to create a safe space where they can talk, learn and feel part of a community. It is the first time a youth-led programme like this, in partnership with local mental health charities, is available in Northern Ireland.

People withtype 1 diabetes cannot produce insulin. About 8 per cent of the nearly 100,000 people diagnosed with diabetes in Northern Ireland have type 1. No one knows exactly what causes it, but it’s not to do with being overweight and it isn’t currently preventable. It’s the most common type of diabetes in children and young adults, starting suddenly and getting worse quickly. Type 1 diabetes is treated by daily insulin doses – taken either by injections or via an insulin pump. It is also recommended to follow a healthy diet and take regular physical activity.

Management of physical symptoms 24/7 – for instance by checking blood glucose levels, or managing diet

alongside the continual need to make decisions, and take actions, in order to reduce the likelihood of short

and long-term complications, can affect every aspect of day-to-day life. Young people are also three

times more likely to experience psychological problems than those without diabetes. Recent

Diabetes UK research revealed that the relentless nature of diabetes can impact people’s emotional,

mental and psychological wellbeing and health − from day-to-day frustration and low mood, to specific

psychological and mental health difficulties such as clinical depression and anxiety.

Diabetes UK also found that 7 out of 10 people living with diabetes feel overwhelmed by the everyday demands of the condition which significantly affects their mental and physical health. The charity launched the ‘It’s Missing’ campaign to highlight the need for emotional and mental health provision as part of diabetes care.

Diabetes UK Assistant Director for Local Impact, Dr David Chaney, said, ‘This is a really exciting opportunity for young people in Northern Ireland living with type 1 diabetes. We know that there is a real need for emotional and mental health support and when you are living with the constant demands of type 1 diabetes that support has been lacking. This programme changes this. We are so proud of the young leaders currently participating in the Our Lives, Our Voices project working in partnership to design the Wellbeing programme which will be delivered across all 5 Trusts in Northern Ireland.

‘Mental health has never had a bigger public profile and it is timely that now the Our Lives, Our Voices programme will be made available to the local young type 1 diabetes community. The constant finger-pricking, checking bloods, managing a relentless, lifelong condition, trying your best to live your life and balance all the demands of diabetes management can take its toll emotionally. Get in touch if you are aged 13-25 years- you are not alone, support is available and together we will work towards a world where diabetes can do no harm.’

This new programme is partnering with local mental health charities AWARE and Action Mental Health.

Tom McEneaney, Head of Business Development and Support Services at AWARE said, ‘AWARE is delighted to be partnering with Diabetes UK Northern Ireland and Action Mental Health in this very exciting youth-led, innovative project to enable young people to manage their lifelong condition.

‘Young people face many challenges in managing this condition and this project empowers them with the skills, knowledge and personal resilience to improve their overall physical and mental health and wellbeing.’

AMH Chief Executive, David Babington, said: “This ground-breaking initiative is unique for its youth-led approach, and aims to empower young people to better manage both their life long physical condition and mental health and well-being.

“Action Mental Health is delighted to support the mental health impact of the serious issue of diabetes and the need for emotional support.  By working collaboratively with partner agencies, health care professionals and young people, Diabetes UK Northern Ireland will be able to build peer support networks and enable young people to strengthen their personal resilience and management of their diabetes.”

If you are aged 13-25 years and living with type 1 diabetes in Northern Ireland and want to find out more or  take part in the Our Lives, Our Voices Wellbeing programme, contact  [email protected] or call Diabetes UK Northern Ireland on 028 9066 6646.

A Downpatrick woman who is joining Team Action Mental Health at this year’s Belfast City Marathon is running to encourage other people to help the charity smash the stigma of mental illness.

Hayley Priestly knows mental ill-health can affect anyone.

“I feel like people struggling with their mental health is unfortunately so common and it can affect anyone. The problem is, nobody wants to talk about it and that’s what makes everything worse. It’s a personal journey I have went through and continue to struggle with, so I want to raise awareness and support for this amazing local charity and everything they do,” she said.

“I think more people should get involved in running for AMH because the more awareness raised, the more people will realise that they shouldn’t be ashamed of their own stories and that it can inspire others more than they know!”

If you feel as passionate as Hayley and wish to join us at this year’s Belfast Marathon we would greatly appreciate your support!

Sign up as a fundraiser for AMH today via our Eventbrite link:

Action Mental Health to merge with New Life Counselling

There is a new couple in town this Valentine’s Day, as Action Mental Health announces plans to merge with New Life Counselling, in a move that will pool resources, services and expertise, in a joint pledge to promote better mental health across Northern Ireland.

It is estimated there are between 7,000 to 12,000 charities operating in Northern Ireland, increasingly working for the same causes but competing for the same pots of funding.

In the last five years there have been fewer than 15 charity mergers in Northern Ireland, but joining forces, the Boards of Action Mental Health and New Life Counselling will endeavour, in a shared public duty, to ensure cost effectiveness and good value, while maintaining the highest quality service to its clients.

The full merger takes effect from April 1^st 2020, meaning the two charities will no longer compete separately for similar funding sources, but will now combine vital resources, resulting in a joint income of £7.5 million, supporting Northern Ireland’s spiralling mental health needs and working to address the issue of suicide across the region.

New Life Counselling will integrate into Action Mental Health and will cease to be an independent charity. New Life Counselling will retain their core name which is well known to local communities, clients and professionals and be known as AMH New Life Counselling.

David Babington, chief executive of Action Mental Health, said: “The Board of Directors of each organisation recognised that there was a real need out there for quality counselling across Northern Ireland. With combined forces, we can provide the best possible outcomes for our clients across Northern Ireland, provide greater security for staff and make the best use of our resources.

“We all agree that there is a really good mix here, and a complementarity between the two organisations. The Boards of each have approached the move in the spirit of a merger and which will refresh our vision, mission and identifies a clear path forward, including new potential routes to funding.”

Norma Patterson, Chief Executive of New Life Counselling has described this as a milestone moment in the legacy of New Life Counselling’s history.

“We have created best practices and have been steadfast in our support of therapeutic counselling services in the most disadvantaged communicates across Belfast.  Meanwhile, we’ve demonstrated our organisational resilience and ability to adapt to the changing needs of our clients through the most challenging times of the Troubles’ conflict. We have continued to support individuals, families and communities to achieve their potential.  As we put our strengths together the goal of both organisations is to grow regional counselling services across Northern Ireland. Together we have a greater depth of resources and a broader platform for influencing regional policy and representing our clients.  

“The current finding environment is challenging and the merger is the best way of ensuring we can continue to provide quality support to the people using our services. Action Mental Health is a charity that shares our vision, values and person-centred approach and like us, is committed to keeping the people we support at the heart of everything we do.”

Action Mental Health is one of seven partners within the Supported Employment Solutions consortium that helps people with disabilities and health conditions get back into employment.

Under the auspices of the Department for Communities, the Workable (NI) Programme is delivered by SES partners AMH and Cedar, along with Mencap, Orchardville and NOW – both social enterprises for people with learning difficulties and autism; RNIB and Action on Hearing Loss.

Case study

A manager of Conservation Volunteers who has been supporting a client of Action Mental Health through the Workable (NI) Programme, paid tribute to the scheme.

“I would like to extend my thanks to Action Mental Health personally and the wider AMH Workable NI Programme for supporting the client over the past 12 months. 

“I became the client’s direct line-manager three years ago when I became aware of her ongoing mental health issues, and the impact this was having on her work and personal life.  Within my role and experience I was only able to offer her a certain level of support and flexibility, and at times felt frustrated not being able to help on a greater scale, as I am not a mental health professional.

“The AMH Workable NI Programme offered the professional mental health support which the client required, enabling her to remain in her work routine whilst receiving specialist support to address her health needs.  The positive impact this has had over the past 12 months has been every evident in all aspects of her persona and behaviour towards her work and personal life.

“The person-centred approach used to identify the correct support for the client as an individual has undoubtedly had a really positive impact on her well-being.  The client herself, speaks very positively of the programme and discusses how she is incorporating techniques into her work and personal life to help her manage and cope with specific situations which would have previously caused her stress. She has increased her working hours as a result of support through Workable (NI) and is completing all aspects of her role with renewed self-confidence.

“From an employer point of view, I have found the format of the Workable (NI) programme appropriately inclusive.  Being involved in structured reviews gives the opportunity for open conversations between employee and employer, without the need for full disclosure of personal details. I feel I have also received the correct amount of information and support from Action Mental Health during the overall programme.

“I would 100 per cent recommend the AMH Workable (NI) programme to any employer struggling to support an employee to sustain their job and their mental health. I would extend many thanks again to Dorothy Greenaway, Employment Support Officer in New Horizon Craigavon and Banbridge, for all your help and expert support over the past 12 months.”